Growing up, I always tried to not be racist. The “N” word was often used, and there was only a few of them in school, so low class, some high class, as well as an abundance of mexicans and even low and upper class white people. I used an objective mind, giving people the benefit of the doubt, going along with the same ideal that we’re all alike underneath, that it is access to opportunity that makes us different and not just our skin color, but really that is a BOLD face lie. Even if they dress the same, we have a different form of speech, mindset, and mentality. We are vastly different and even when I encounter a semi-intelligent one; I am still disgusted by their race. I feel I’m qualified to write about it due to my life experience and surroundings. I’ve seen nothing but disgusting, disgraceful attitudes and appearances from these people. It sickens me. I’m currently residing with two of them and have had to reside with several others and am renting from one. It’s been a disgusting time, not only because they stink (as we all do at times) but because my experience residing with them sickens me so much that I can’t even put it into words and if I do, it becomes a fight over skin color, when really its a fight about intellect, skin tone, voice tone, choice of words, superiority or whatever. I could tell you about all of their wrongs and one could say the white man or woman has the same problems, but I am surrounded by them in the City, stuck as a short white woman, forced to live with them and under their rule. They are a sick population and I am so glad to be moving out of this environment and stage of my study.
I have no findings, other than internal knowledge and pride to say I am different, I am better, and I have enough experience to back that up, although I am forced to stay silent in order to stay protected because they are violent. I’ve taken a close look at slavery, the Black’s rise to power using Martin Luther King, Religion, groups like the Black Panthers, Gang Violence, Women’s Rights/Suffrage, and even looked at them in a Military setting where rank was the only differentiation. I’ve even gone so far in my study to engage romantically with them, as well as study the viewpoints of Black Females and their thoughts on Inter-racial Marriage as well as how they interact in Family Settings. Inter-racial marriage or even inter-racial cohabitation is not for me and should not be forced onto anyone.
Where they came from and where we came from is still a mystery, but clearly they were created after us, other wise we wouldn’t have had superiority over them, and their majority wouldn’t bow down and worship a White Man called Jesus Christ. Secondly, their fight for freedom and desire to form a gang is comparable to any group being held down from basic rights of freedom, but done so in a strategic fashion for protection.
I do try to figure out the purpose of Segregation and look at history from then and now and after reviewing Rap Music, Clothing Choices, Slavery, and the way they hold onto Family Traditions, claiming ancestor pain for their suffering as a group, is / was similar to my own pleas to God, yet different. They seem to want to hold onto and draw off of the Slavery period and use Racial Inequality as a means to get ahead. When or if it is ever mentioned, they become angry, going into an abusive mindset or choose to avoid the topic altogether; as if a white woman can’t even have the discussion without getting her ass beat and thrown out on the streets or even have an intellectual conversation. For example, I briefly mentioned to the lastest Black Female resident that I was on my way out due to some major household issues, I told her everyone that has lived her was black and we can’t seem to get along; she immediately said I was racist; that I have race issues. She couldn’t intellectually respond from a personal viewpoint and respond about how it might be interesting or that she was sorry I felt that way, that perhaps it was something else; nor did she bother to inquire the nature of the issues at hand. It was and is Race, but the deeper underlying problem was that I couldn’t get along with the people of color due to their mindsets, lack of intellect, and their own sickness, stubbornness, and lifestyles. So can we cohabitate? Yes, but only briefly.
It’s just a general idea of power and control; knowing they have power and control and they will use it; even if it’s abusive, hurtful, detrimental to the health and welfare of the population. They’ve collectively used a sickening tactic and going back to Martin Luther King’s idea of “I have a dream where all men (and women) are created equal” proved possible on the Hill, but not in reality and everyday life. No black man will ever be equal to the white man in my eyes, but that’s seeing life through my eyes. In other words, Mr. Martin Luther King was saying “I want to be like the white man” so America gave them a chance through education, affirmative action, and by promoting diversity, forcing people to live and work together and I still cannot agree that they were created equal, not even in birth of a new life because people are born into families, families carry on traditions, and life is learned or God given. I think the major separation and differences stems from exposure to abuse and poverty and even if these areas were taken away; the mind still holds on to past trauma’s and views of inequality, differences, and attitudes based on experience. At the end of the day, it’s best to maintain distance, stay true to oneself and don’t let the Black Man, Black Woman, Mexican Man, Mexican Woman, Chinese Man, Chinese Woman, Korean Man, or Korean Women, Island Man or Island Woman hold you down, but learn from their deficiencies; realizing War is and was for a reason and so is evolution.
Black Lives Matter became some slogan this past year, but for what and how long with they claim inequality, begging for recognition? My life matters more than any black life. I don’t understand how and why they are still begging and protesting for attention, aside from a few televised Criminal Justice Actions. I have not written about African Americans and Crime for along time because the greater problem is Motivation, Opportunity, Fairness, Poverty and Drugs.
It’s not my fault I couldn’t attend Yale University and become a high priced attorney and it’s not their fault their parents were our slaves, but at the end of the day it comes down to trying and giving life a shot at success, using whatever you’ve learned, but since I’ve learned and experienced all of this; I cannot work for a Black Man, rent from a Black Man, Cohabitate, or even listen to a Black Man or Women speak.